1. WELCOME
2. PARENTING POINT TO PONDER
3. ARTICLE: Eating Out With Children Can Be Fun!
4. MY FAVORITES: Web link of the month
5. BOOKS: Reviews, Excerpts and Purchase Info
Hello, everyone! As my schedule gets busier (I'm working on my upcoming book, Gentle Babycare), I find myself taking my children out to restaurants a little more often. When I do, I inevitably get to watch parents struggle with children who lack social skills. While the parents’ intent, I'm certain, is to have a fun family outing, they often spend the entire time snapping at unruly dining partners of the juvenile variety. The good news is that just a few new parenting skills can help make taking the children out for a meal a very pleasant experience. This month's newsletter offers a few tips on the topic.
Elizabeth
When your children display bad manners — and they will — stop yourself from the knee-jerk reaction that adds your own bad manners to the show. It's so much more polite to take your child aside and voice your corrections privately, delivering these corrections in the spirit of teaching rather than reprimanding. When your own presentation is polite and encouraging, you may find your children actually learning the intended lesson through your example.
Keep in mind that children are not born with good manners. They are acquired. Often, poor manners may not be intentional misbehavior but childish naiveté — in which case, you have an opportunity to teach the correct behavior gently if you refrain from snapping mindlessly. Likewise, poor manners also may be displays of age-appropriate behavior. All young children spill milk, splatter ketchup, leave crumbs, and mumble incoherently when introduced to a stranger.
Remember: Our children learn most by watching adult behavior and modeling it. Your own mannerly behavior might just be enough to get your children mimicking you in the most becoming way.
— An excerpt from Hidden Messages, What Our Words and Actions are Really Telling Our Children by Elizabeth Pantley (Contemporary Books, 2001)
According to a study* by Impulse Research, while 99 percent of parents eat out with their kids, 25 percent find the experience hectic, hurried and not at all enjoyable. The top reasons for this displeasure: waiting a long time for food (40 percent), unable to find a menu that will please both parents and children (35 percent) and dealing with misbehavior (30 percent).
Is It Really Worth the Wait?
Waiting anywhere with your children can be a problem, but it becomes exacerbated when they are hungry. Sometimes it's too much to ask our young ones to stand in line with the aroma from the kitchen filling the air and tantalizing food posters on the walls around them. Having a plan and realistic expectations are both important. When possible, plan to dine at a reasonable time, before the kids become famished. Seat the kids at a table while you stand in line. Bring along a few simple toys, like a deck of cards, that can keep the kids occupied while they wait. For younger kids, have a bag of dried cereal to munch on until the meal arrives."
Pleasing Parents and Their Kids
Many restaurants that appeal to children aren’t the first choice of parents. There are places that cater to all generations. You just need to look around. For example, a comfortable, casual destination like KFC offers a Kids Laptop Pack with choices like chicken strips and macaroni and cheese. They also serve real homestyle chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy and baked beans that satisfy more grown-up tastes. If everyone can find a favorite on the menu, then eating out can be fun for the whole family.
Keeping the Kids Entertained
Adults view dining out as a rich social experience, while kids just want to eat and run. Once the kids have eaten enough to satisfy their hunger, they look for entertainment. Bored kids misbehave; busy kids tend not to act out. So bring toys with you or use what’s available. Try letting the kids stack sugar packs, play ‘I spy,’ or enjoy a few rounds of tabletop coin hockey. And keep your post-meal conversation short. The longer you stay, the more likely the kids will act up.
Practice at Home
Children who don't have good manners at home won't miraculously act like little ladies and gentlemen while at a restaurant. Practice the behavior you hope to see in public at the dinner table every day at home.
*Impulse Research conducted this national survey on the Internet among a random sampling of 1,052 parents with children aged five through 12. The sample was drawn from the CyberPulsen online panel with a three percent margin of error.
http://www.abcparenting.com
Browse the parent-reviewed sites in this topical directory with sections on a wide range of subjects from pregnancy to breastfeeding to potty training to parenting.
Please browse my Website (http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/ for articles, parenting Q & A, links — plus excerpts from, reviews of, and purchase info for my books:
|
