1. WELCOME
2. INTERVIEW
3. MY FAVORITES: Web Link of the Month
4. BOOKS: Reviews, Excerpts and Purchase Info
This month's issue of "In Touch" features a special interview with Elizabeth Pantley about her newest book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night.
This groundbreaking book became available a few weeks ago and has received worldwide attention. Two weeks after publication, publisher McGraw Hill had to order a rush second printing of the book to meet demand.
Here the author provides some behind-the-scenes information about herself and the book.
Elizabeth
Q: What inspired you to write The No-Cry Sleep Solution?
A: Two years ago, when my children were eight, 10 and 12 years old, we welcomed a little surprise treasure to the family: our youngest child, Coleton. I found tremendous joy in having the chance to hold and love another baby in our family. Along with all the beautiful, wonderful aspects of mothering a baby came a reminder of the one issue that so often casts a dark cloud over this special time for so many: sleeplessness.
My Coleton was a "frequent night walker." At 12 months old, he was waking up every hour or two, all night long, every night. And on top of that, he rarely napped for more than half an hour! While I was happy to wake hourly to feed him when he was a newborn, continuing this pattern for a whole year was just too much for me.
I had already experienced mothering a night-walker when my first child, Angela, was a baby all those years ago. I have always been a firm believer that babies should not be left alone to cry themselves to sleep; finding no other solutions; my Angela didn't sleep through the night until after her second birthday. With Coleton, however, I had lived through 41 years and three infants — so I refused to feel guilty for wanting a full night's sleep. I was determined to find solutions that were gentle for my baby son, but also respectful of my need to sleep, too.
Q: Where did you find the gentle solutions?
A: It wasn't a quick process! I became obsessed with the issue of babies and sleep. I searched the library, bookstores, and the Internet. I talked to professionals, to parents of babies, to parents of older children. I collected mountains of information!
Q: How did you sift through your research to find the solutions that worked?
A: Well, first, I was lucky enough to have my own "laboratory" at home. I tried many different ideas myself with my own baby. And once I had a handle on the basics, I searched out families who were willing to be test cases for my ideas.
Q: How did you find your test families?
A: Some of the families came to me through referrals, through various hospitals' mother-baby classes, and through contacts in my field of parent education. I discovered still more through parenting Websites, posting boards, and chat lines. With so many parents living with sleepless babies, I could have signed up several hundred volunteers in no time at all. I limited the group size since I knew I'd be corresponding with them on an almost daily basis.
Q: How did that test case process work?
A: I ended up with 60 wonderful, eager, friendly mothers who have become very special friends to me. They all began by logging their babies' sleep habits, for both naps and nighttime, and they completed logs every 10 days. Throughout the process, I worked with each one to help her create her own sleep "plan" based on my ideas, her family's individual situation, and her baby's temperament and age. The parents asked questions, informed me of their success and struggles, and provided the feedback that helped me refine my ideas.
Q: Is The No-Cry Sleep Solution written for a certain type of parent?
A: Yes, it sure is. It is written specifically for parents who are struggling with sleep issues with their babies. Parents who won't, can't, or at least prefer not to allow their babies to cry it out to get the sleep they — parents and babies alike — crave.
Q: What age group, specifically?
A: The ideas are helpful for babies from birth to about age three.
Q: Does your book address issues for all different kinds of parenting methods?
A: During "field testing" with my Test Mommies, during my research process, and since the book has been released, I discovered that my potential audience includes a huge variety of groups with parenting philosophies as unique as the families themselves. No one type of family is unique in their desire to find tear-free ways to help their baby sleep. Couples, singles, stay-at-home mothers, working-outside-the-home mothers, breast feeders, bottle feeders, pacifier-users, families with cribs, families who co-sleep. I've received letters from all over the world that say the same thing: Parents love their babies, they don't want them to cry…and they need sleep!
Q: Your book is very "attachment parenting friendly."
A: That it is! Most likely because I'm an "AP mom" in the classic definition of the word. All four of my children were breastfed well into toddler hood, and all four shared our family bed. (Coleton, at 30 months now, is still breastfeeding and sleeps part-time with me and the rest of the time with his 10-year-old brother.) I literally wore out two slings using them so often to carry my babies around. So, from experience, I can easily address the needs of an AP family. I also understand, however, that there are parents with myriad philosophies other than AP who raise wonderful children into happy, successful adults. Barring anything that harms a child, it’s always wise not to judge others based on our own values: because I've done something one way does not make it the only way — just the only way for me. In my book, I’ve tried to reach parents of all types and beliefs — without judgment and with respect to those beliefs, regardless of my own. In this way, I've tried to offer as many solutions as possible so that any parent can create a customized sleep plan that not only helps her/his baby sleep, but works within the framework of the family's style. This is not a book that dictates a particular parenting style or a single "sleep schedule"; rather, it takes the parents' existing parenting method of choice as a given and suggests ways to help a baby sleep within that paradigm.
Q: Please describe your recent opportunity to work with Dr. William Sears.
A: I was honored to work with him on his newly released book, The Successful Child. We spent two years researching the material and writing together. It's an important book that helps parents look beyond babyhood, explaining in detail the ways that parents can provide their children with the essential tools to succeed in life.
Q: So, now's your chance to brag a little about your own children. We can read some things about Coleton in the new book, but tell us about your other three children.
A: My favorite topic! I have four of the best kids in the world. They are kind, polite, caring, and just plain fun to be around. The older three are excellent students. They all play softball/baseball — all pitchers! Vanessa also plays soccer and David plays football, so our "ball season" never ends!
Our house is a gathering place for the kids' friends, so we always have a few extra guests. Well, I say guests, but most have been over so often they're nearly adopted siblings. The three big kids, and all their friends, absolutely adore Coleton. The little guy didn't even walk until he was 16 months old because he was never on the floor! Talk about attention: He never lacks.
Q: About the dedication to your husband in The No-Cry Sleep Solution...It sounds like you have a very special marriage.
A: Yes, we have been very blessed with a strong, happy marriage — almost 20 years together! My Robert is an incredible man, a strong marriage partner. Do you know what he did for our last anniversary? He took me out to dinner, and when we arrived at home, the house was empty! Now, when you have four children and Grama living in the house, let me tell you: it's never empty. He had sent them all to my sister's house for the night. There were dozens of roses all over the house — including one on each stair up to our room. There were trays of luscious desserts on the tables, and candles everywhere. Robert's also the best father you could ever find, as wonderful with our teenagers as he is with our baby. I'm a lucky woman.
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Here, expectant and new parents can explore a week-by-week pregnancy guide, feature articles, chat rooms, and parenting resources.
Please browse my Website (http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/ for articles, parenting Q & A, links — plus excerpts from, reviews of, and purchase info for my books:
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